Natus Vincere Weekly Review #8

Another week, another five or so padawans who chose the Dark Side of the Force. It means it's time for yet another weekly review from Natus Vincere. In today's episode: Kuroky loves the money, TI 2013 invitation, GPM of Dread, and much more. Don't forget about our special feature - the SINK-METER which will soon get its own iOS app.


To the Dark Side and beyond together with Darth Vader!


Women are fainting, men are crying, haters are burning in hell - team Natus Vincere got an invitation to The International 2013. It means that ZeroGravity's home collection of alcohol is at risk once again! The margin made in 2012 worked out pretty well, so the runner-ups of TI2 are going to try and farm yet another million dollars. The practicing has already underway. The specific tournament schedule of Na`Vi before the august will be revealed soon. When there's a million at stake, you shouldn't be looking back to some 5- or 6-figure tournaments.

While you're trying to guess which tournaments Na`Vi will play before TI3, we're going back to ZeroGravity's lost collection of alcohol. Despite the efforts of the management, the information about the DotA2-roster playing with a stand-in has leaked through five or six times, so now the community is really puzzled with a question: where is Mr. XBOCT? We were able to track him, thanks to the bottles banana peels he left behind.



Alexander Kohanovsky left for Yalta immediately, so we hope to see both ZeroGravity and XBOCT at least in July. As for right now, we have something special for all the fans of his talent:

While you're trying to book a flight to Yalta in a desperate hope of helping Alexander to "find" XBOCT, Darth Vader is Forced to claim that not everyone was happy about cutting the number of tournaments which Na`Vi will take part in. Kuroky was especially furious about it saying that by doing so the players miss out on the opportunity to win around $15,000 in a single month. We could only calm the guy by explaining to him that if he wants to win $1,000 fifteen times then he most likely won't have an opportunity to win fifteen times for $50k each.

Aside from this quite entertaining math, there are also some other stories which are equally fun! LightofHeaven left team Natus Vincere. His contract expired in the beginning of May. Darth Vader supposes that Lost could get back into the team if Funn1k would keep on pretending he's a crab like a professional movie actor. Dmitry is the third player to leave the champion roster of Natus Vincere and the second to enter Na`Vi's Hall of Fame. Dissatisfied with the absence of ArtStyle in the Hall of Fame? Well, try to sue us then!


Last week, Darth Vader launched the GPM Show. Technically, just about everyone could participate, but it turned out that we had to divide the episodes into Russian and English with a 3-to-1 ratio (3 episodes in Russian language, and 1 in English). The next episode of GPM Show will be due May 10th at 16:00 CET. All the players have already been selected. You shall come and watch the show just for the sake of hearing the legendary rage of VeRsuta. The first GPM Show with a foreign star is planned for the May 23rd. Who is going to be invited? That's a secret for now! If you missed the first episode, watch it now and behold the mighty GPM of Dread:



About the GPM Show


Single-line-news: Funn1k was interviewed by a Serbian website:




The lord of the carpets, otherwise known as Strelok, did what nobody expected him to do. No, his carpet remains where it used to be, but we talk about him successfully qualifying for WCS. The group was damn hard - Ret and ThorZaIN. The sweeter is the victory. Darth Vader, as weird as it may sound, doesn't know a freaking thing about the space craft, that's why his padawans carefully explained to him how and why Strelok has made it.


While XBOCT is chilling in Yalta, the team once again got into a mess. Tuskar, Skywrath Mage - is this a pick for the official matches? Some say Natus Vincere are winning, EG were so shocked by Dendi's performance at Skywrath Mage in the first game than insta-banned it for the second one. Some people think that the guys were still having momentum after the game against RoX.KiS, but we blame the bananas, it's their fault.


It seems that the letters to our editorial will cement their place in our weekly reviews, so I'll just leave it here:




Cliffs for TLDR's: Na`Vi, you are the best!


Good friend who wrote this, if you're reading these lines then you should know that you're one of the few people with whom XBOCT would happily share his banana!


While you're crying with tears of joy after reading this letter, we are sad to tell you that our CS:GO team have failed the qualifier for Techlabs. Everything went on smoothly up to the point when the guys unexpectedly lost to TCM-Gaming in the final. After this loss, one of the most restrained players in history of Natus Vincere expressed a will to go drunk hard. Fortunately enough though, the bar of ZeroGravity was somewhere near Yalta at that moment.


Last week, some careless moves by DotA2-guys brought the whole organization down to the bottom. Now what? The SINK-METER awaits!


Event Level of immersion
Last week's standing ↑9 meters
The International invitation 100500 priceless
Let XBOCT have some rest 1 meter
Kuroky is sad 1 meter
Lost left Natus Vincere 5 meters
Lost is recognized in the Hall of Fame 2 meters
The GPM Show begins 5 meters
Funn1k aka Smile 1 meter
Strelok qualified for WCS 5 meters
Tuskar & Skywrath picks 5  meters
Outplay EG 2 meters
Letters to Na`Vi 3 meters
Fail at Techlabs qualifier 10 meters
Total: ↑13 meters


Want to prove the sink-meter wrong? Welcome to the ban the comment section below! Suggest your own criteria for the sink-meter and if we find it good enough - we'll add it!

AuthorXeozor Date 7 May 2013, 14:32 Views14346 Comments474
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